Now i began to know the basic skills to survive a relationship. After being counselled by a very experienced friend, i finally woke up.
Am so disgusted by how i was treated. All the tactics guys can use to woo a girl, make a guy fall in love with her, made her so deeply in love with her, and tame her like a dog. Didnt want to deny that i was a victim myself.
It's rather fascinating to me, how a 20 year old boy is able to do that, though i shouldnt be surprised. How could a born cheater who is capable of cheating $700 of his primary school classmate in exchange of dinosaur stickers and tonnes of pokemon stickers, cheat those who are kind to him of their money and lie to his parents even when he know that he let them down, even when things went quite bad. Genius swindler aint it? Friends have been telling me that I'm not stupid, i'm just blinded, i'm just too soft-hearted and it's not my fault but i know all these words were just consoling words. I'm a fucking fucking retard dumbass, insanely stupid moron and a naive bitch.
After all I've heard from my friends, a gazillion things ran through my head. His ex-girlfriend, all the things he said, what he did before/after yada yada.. My guess + intuition was mostly correct. Which dumbass would believe that he's clearly forgotten his ex by keeping her pictures with him, by allowing her o lvl certs to sit underneathe our photos and keeping that tee which he thinks its fucking hidious and would never want to wear it. When being confronted, he just have to deny, say he didnt know, pretend that he doesnt have feelings for her, telling me that that girl is just nothing, i'm the one he loves, that tshirt means nothing when you know that he's been wearing it even with me, after i told him i didnt like it, he hides the shirt in another side of the wardrobe which he seldom/rarely use, then the shirt was placed somewhere else which has only two possibilities.
1) his mother washed it because he's been wearing it 2) he's been looking at it for godsake
Times when i suspected that something was amiss. He was out somewhere and not picking calls yada. I was brainwashed, was made to believe that nothing went wrong. The time when he quarrelled with me over me wanting to tag along with him to play dota at Parklane because i didnt believe. and i still believe that i'm right. I might be dumb enough to get brainwashed by him, but i'm not dumb all times. I've seen too much of him.
What i couldn't understand is why, why he wants to waste 1 years time just to take revenge, to make me suffer. It could have been because of what happened 3 years ago. With such an ego for a casanova, i guess that he just want to make sure that he gets everything he wants. Everything must go his way. Or that he's sick of me, he's just waiting for a better/prettier girl since he has nothing left now, he has to be stuck with me.
This kind of moron will never learn or know the art of appreciation, will always take things for granted, will always believe that he's the king of the world. Even his parents has to obey him. I don't know. I guess he's beyond hope.
I finally understood what K is trying to tell me and understood why she wants me to do things this way. this is an unforgiven mistake i will never want to repeat again.
