Friday, June 19, 2009
K so what now. I'm currently at a lost stage. Lost in a mixture of confusing emotions. I don't know what I'm feeling now. I'm happy(?), relieved(partly) and a little of melancholy(definitely). I am not struggling hard now I guess. I just need a bit of discipline, self-esteem, self-pity, selfish, less understanding, more of unreasonable and I need more ego.
I'm hoping that this break-up will be so bad that nothing would recover. Obviously there's no point in communicating because of a gazillion reason that we just cant seem to talk properly. I don't know what to say but I hope that I won't find another reason or rather excuse to patch again. Just end it like the way I predicted.
I don't request for fine dinings, pradas nor diamonds. All I want is some basic things that a normal bf would do for me. Like fetching me from work, some TLCs, some time at somewhere together just both of us, some heart-to-heart talk, some small uncostly surprises. Not once in a blue moon but at least like once a month, and give me some basic respect.
I'm starting to feel the ache now. But soon it'll go away.
Afterall, what I had to do was to apply the same old theory that I've learned since 3 years old,
I fall and I'll stand up by myself, look at the scars, remember the pain and remind myself not to fall again.
Except that this will be much harder than I was a kid.
8:38 AM